Thoughts and Prayers, Severe Weather Smoke Detectors, Grocery Surplus Mealkits, and Cameo for Lovers
Ep. 07

Thoughts and Prayers, Severe Weather Smoke Detectors, Grocery Surplus Mealkits, and Cameo for Lovers

Episode description

Special thanks to Phil for joining us on this episode!

00:00:00 - Intro
00:02:13 - Thoughts and Prayers
00:09:47 - Severe Weather Smoke Detectors
00:18:20 - Grocery Surplus Mealkits
00:24:20 - Cameo for Lovers
00:33:07 - Outro

Download transcript (.srt)
0:00

I'm Scott. I'm Russell. And I'm Leo. This is Spitball.

0:10

Welcome to Spitball, the Pitchin' Kitchen, where three charming rascals, that's us,

0:21

empty our heads of the startup and tech product ideas that we have stuck up in

0:24

here so you can all have them for free. Anything we say is yours to keep. So we

0:29

have Phil here, who we found on Friend of a Friend, the dating app for married

0:37

people. From what I've heard, yeah, going back to episode two, yeah, I'm the

0:43

friend named Phil. And if you go on Friend of a Friend, I am... you remember Tom from

0:48

MySpace? I am the equivalent of Tom from MySpace, but Phil from Friend of a

0:53

Friend. That makes sense. Did you cash out and take your millions to go be a

0:58

photographer on Instagram with your life? I did, actually, yeah. It was, I think, 4.2

1:04

million. And you didn't share any with us. How many followers does Tom have, like, on

1:08

Instagram? You know, he's probably not on MySpace anymore, right? He's probably on

1:11

Insta and like Facebook. Nobody's on MySpace anymore. Yeah, except for Tom. I mean,

1:16

actually, they're kind of having a little bit of a resurgence right now,

1:19

which is kind of cool. Aren't they more of a music thing? I haven't actually been

1:22

on in, wow, a long time, but why would you go to MySpace? They were a music thing, and now they're

1:26

pivoting back, I think. To just regular? They still exist? To be a music-centered but

1:32

social network thing in general. Yeah, I know, they got bought by some venture

1:35

capital firm, I think. But we're not here to talk about MySpace and its resurgence,

1:39

how it's gonna dominate and take over TikTok. Are we on? We're recording this a little bit ahead of

1:45

when you're listening to this, so maybe they did already buy TikTok and X, and now

1:49

they are the social network to be seen. It's just called Y, and that's it. I'm gonna call it here, Leo.

1:55

So, MySpace is the only social media network December, whenever this comes out. Yeah, it's the only

2:00

media, social media left. That's all that's left. So, praise be to Tom and our MySpace overlords.

2:05

Follow Spitball Show on MySpace. Excuse me, why? We all have to have social media

2:10

platforms for tonight, that's it. All right, Scott, what's an idea that you have

2:16

always wanted to make, but you do not have time for? I actually have thought

2:19

about this one a lot, and it's still gonna be really half-baked. And it's even

2:22

a website, but not a social media. I've always wanted thoughtsandprayers.com,

2:26

but you can actually send something that's not just thoughts and prayers to

2:32

someone in need. So, this is about as far as I got. So, I'm either thinking like some

2:38

form of gift basket or like information or something. Yeah, exactly, the premium

2:43

version is to get something tangible. Thoughts and prayers and fruit basket.

2:47

Yeah, exactly. Could be a fruit basket, but there's always someone where like a couple

2:51

just had a baby, or there was a death in the family, or something terrible has

2:55

happened to their local hometown or whatnot. And you want to send thoughts

3:00

and prayers, or maybe more than thoughts and prayers, something that could

3:04

actually help them out in that moment. Okay, so what would be, like flowers? I'm

3:08

trying to think what I would... I guess you could start there, different tiers on

3:11

there, like edible arrangements. This is not relevant, but I just need someone to

3:17

know that somebody out there is hilarious and bought thoughtsandprayers.com

3:21

and it redirects to Texas.gov. I just did that like two minutes before this and it was

3:27

cracking up. Very good. To the person out there doing that, well done. That is worth

3:31

$12 a year. I think it was Greg Abbott, actually. Yep, so if you actually wanted

3:37

to start this website and just say like, "Hey, okay, I want to give away for my

3:41

friends who just recently had kids a break, or I just want to send them

3:45

something," this would be really easy to do. A very quick website, have a couple of

3:49

base products on there. I'll ship them a lasagna. And then you just drop ship

3:53

everything from there. Fill it all out, have a couple of items on the home page,

3:58

and then a form and a little bit of automation, you're drop shipping them all

4:01

of these cheap or whatever things. Everyone's wins. Could you tie it into

4:05

Uber Eats or GrubHub or anything like that? Absolutely. For like a nice hot meal for, "Hey, you had a kid, here." Or, "Hey, your

4:10

grandma just died, here's a lasagna." Our Mealtrain app that we used was not the

4:15

Mealtrain.com one, but we used an alternative that was like, "Do you want

4:18

to sign up to bring them a meal, or do you want to send them a frozen soup-like

4:22

thing?" These exist a little bit out there already. You could have that plus flowers,

4:26

plus stuffed bears, plus fruit baskets. Yeah. Okay, then pivot slightly on that and

4:32

just have it so you can make your own personalized campaign for this. "Hey, I

4:37

want to raise awareness for something or another. Here's a way that you can donate

4:41

or contribute in a meaningful, tangible way for this." So Kickstarter meets meal

4:47

plans meets GrubHub. You can take the angle of how all the social

4:54

cause, like with Tom's Shoes, they donate a child, a pair for every pair. You

4:59

buy the basket and they donate money to the hurricane relief or whatever. I don't

5:03

know if they're donating children. I was starting to say children's shoes, but I

5:07

don't think that's children's shoes. Sorry about your new child. Yeah, that's very

5:14

selfless of them. I've got an idea. So part of the joke behind the Thoughts and

5:19

Prayers meme is that it does literally nothing. I'll send you my Thoughts and

5:23

Prayers is code for, "You know what? I hope it works out for you." So should it be

5:28

more than thoughtsandprayers.com? Better than Thoughts and Prayers? Possibly. This

5:33

one option, or you have another option where instead of sending something

5:38

tangible and helpful and good, I want to be silly. And you know what? Instead of

5:44

Thoughts and Prayers, here's a little card that automatically gets drop-shipped

5:47

in the mail to you. Basically a postcard that says, "Scott sends his Thoughts and

5:52

Prayers." All in capital, ten times New Roman on just a single white card.

6:00

It's like ShippaDick. Have you seen ShippaDick.com? That just rolls off the

6:05

tongue. ShippaDick. You go to ShippaDick.com and then they just... you could have... you

6:10

could have a big cardboard box filled with a bunch of cardboard dicks or like...

6:15

Oh my god. Or a big poster board dick or whatever. I don't know if this will make the cut.

6:20

Okay, what if you flipped it? Rather than you sending the Thoughts and Prayers, you

6:25

contribute to a fund where if anybody posts "Sending Thoughts and Prayers,"

6:30

people donate into some other thing. Like, I'm signing up for that. So now when

6:36

anybody does say, "Oh, sending my Thoughts and Prayers," it's everybody else

6:41

contributing and so it makes that person look way worse because they didn't do

6:45

anything and everybody else... It tags it onto it to be like, "Oh, I like that." You

6:50

can leverage the meme to make this like a social movement thing. Like a pay it

6:55

forward in line at Starbucks type thing. But on... not Twitter. All of them. Yeah.

7:00

So this famous politician I don't like said, "Thoughts and Prayers for this

7:04

recent tragedy." So I'm going to do something tangible and contrast it with,

7:09

"Hey, this politician did nothing." Oh, I love that. You find every hashtag,

7:13

"Thoughts and Prayers," and just tack onto it and your marketing is done.

7:16

Wow, look at all these people that gave their Thoughts and Prayers and I gave my

7:20

hundreds of dollars, you know? And you have on your homepage the wall of shame

7:25

that has all the people who have used it 12 times in the last, you know, 18 months.

7:30

Dang! You could even make it like a resource center or something. Some... a school

7:35

shooting or something terrible has happened here. I want to raise awareness

7:38

for X and then have as much resources or how people can actually contribute to it.

7:43

Vote out this person or help change this law to prevent this and then go about

7:49

how you could actually, as an individual citizen, do more.

7:53

Every time a politician does Thoughts and Prayers for like a tragic event, you

7:58

auto-tweet something like awareness or... right, like some... so now every time they

8:03

do it, they screw themselves over with 30,000 tweets.

8:07

Shaming them. All in one blast. Every time they tweet, just a blast of a flood of

8:13

people posting and tweeting over them, right? X-ing. Just like an auto-reply, "Hey,

8:19

yeah, this politician said Thoughts and Prayers for this thing." You reply and

8:25

retweet, "Hey, imagine if they'd actually done something productive. You can do

8:28

that here. Come to our donation link and do something more than just Thoughts and

8:32

Prayers." This is fun. Is that a thing? Can you like subscribe to like auto-tweets?

8:38

Like, could we just break X or Twitter and just be like, "Alright, I barely use my

8:44

Twitter account, but I will subscribe to like hundreds of different auto-tweets

8:49

if that's a thing." Like, can you flood Twitter with enough tweets that make

8:53

that tweet less relevant? Like, if 30,000 people were like, "Anytime this person

8:59

tweets, I just want to bombard that tweet with a bunch of BS around it or..."

9:04

Brigading. Well, Twitter probably has four people still working in IT, so you can

9:09

probably do whatever you want. You want to log in and authorize

9:13

thoughtsandprayers.com to post on your behalf, and then it just waits for the

9:18

next wave. And when thousands of people all are in the wings ready to do it, it

9:24

fires up the large language model, makes a bunch of variants of the same idea.

9:27

Something like that, yes. There you go. I can't wait. Now that it's very cheap to have an

9:32

unlimited firehose of medium quality content. So, would you call this the chat

9:37

GPT of thoughts and prayers? It's powered by AI, of course. Social good. That's what

9:43

we do here on this show. For the greater good. Sometimes.

9:48

Alright, Leo. What is your idea? Alright, so this is a little different than usual

9:57

because it's a refinement on an existing product that exists that I want to make

10:02

better. So, the National Weather Service has radio stations all over the country

10:08

and 97% of the population is covered by good signal for forecasts and upcoming

10:16

whatever and severe weather alerts. You can buy a radio from one of two

10:20

manufacturers that sits and waits, and if there is a tornado warning or whatever

10:27

in your area, it'll light up and you don't have to have an internet

10:29

connection and you don't have to have cell phone service or anything. It'll say

10:33

tornado, you know, it's a smoke detector but for bad weather, right? And the radio

10:38

that I have that does this works perfectly but the UI is trash. It looks

10:42

like a clock radio from the 80s and you're navigating through this awful

10:45

seven segment display to try to find your like you're with the manual looking

10:49

up codes that correlate with your county and your type and inch. It's awful. So, I

10:54

want to make something that looks kind of like a Nest thermostat. You've got a

10:58

glass and metal sandwich that goes on the wall or on the bedside or whatever.

11:01

You've got a beautiful circular display, perhaps some LEDs that are yellow for

11:06

warning and red for alert sort of thing. You've got a screen that just if there's

11:11

nothing going on right now, maybe it just has the local forecast or current

11:14

temperature or something like that. But really the trick is when there's a

11:18

severe weather alert, it chimes. It does something that actually gets your

11:22

attention. It flashes. It wakes you. It's the kind of thing that I've played

11:26

around with building something of but grabbing those signals and decoding them

11:29

is more complicated than I'm comfortable doing with code and Arduinos and stuff

11:33

today. But yeah, it's something that I think about a lot because it seems like

11:38

the kind of thing I know we're in the age of cell phones and most of the time

11:41

cell phone service is good enough but if there's an actual like hurricane

11:45

situation in many regions or an earthquake or something that takes out

11:48

infrastructure, these things often still work. Radio survives when internet is too

11:53

congested or when your home electricity is out. Okay, this is why I love this

11:59

because it's a hybrid IOT device where like I'm still connected to the internet.

12:03

I can I read where I am. I can read my county codes or whatever and tell you I'm

12:08

able to translate the information to you because I download all that. But if the

12:13

internet goes out or power goes out or whatever, I'm still just fine because I

12:16

can tune into this frequency because I have a special antenna receiver on here

12:21

and can give you the alerts as needed and I'll just keep doing that until my

12:24

battery dies. Totally, I love that. You remember the you'd be listening to the news and once in a while

12:28

they'd test it and you hear the "AHH" sound, the three chirp, that that's what that is.

12:32

It's called an SAME, a same alert and there's in that little gibberish block

12:37

it says "Tornado warning in this area expires at this time seek shelter now."

12:42

Wait, in that crazy noise? In the little "AHH" sound is it'll say like this is a

12:47

severe thunderstorm watch in this area. That's what those decode to be. What? I never

12:52

knew this. And you could just yeah and it's out there not only do they have it

12:57

on TV and radio for like your TV in theory could like pick it up and display

13:01

something in its UI was the idea back of the day but they also just broadcast

13:06

them in towers all over the country and there's almost no gadget out there to

13:10

pick them up and use them which bothers me. So who's your who's your target

13:14

market here? Who are you trying to sell this to? I mean I would buy one right? You should

13:19

always be in your target market yeah but if there's someone else. Your target market is

13:23

people who have a smoke detector it's everyone should have one of these right?

13:27

It wakes you up in the middle of the night when there's severe weather and

13:30

you didn't know the tornado was coming. It's safety. It's safety. Could you build this into

13:35

existing smoke detectors? So you've got your smoke detector it's wired into the house

13:38

typically. You got your backup battery. It's also got a small radio receiver two

13:44

LEDs yellow red weather service warning weather service the other one. Carbon monoxide

13:48

detector. Why are they not together? I recently replaced all my smoke detectors

13:52

and they have Wi-Fi now and it's really nice to say not only hey the smoke

13:55

detectors are going off in every room but it is because something was detected

13:59

in this room. It says it on your phone and you can dismiss it. Super great. Yeah

14:03

and you can say I'm a bad cook or fajitas mode. Burger mode. But yeah exactly put it

14:11

into a smoke detector. I love that because it's in every room it's autogast

14:14

like you said it has power. It made me very angry. These smoke detectors that I

14:18

bought all have a lithium-ion battery in them. I don't know why the hell it took

14:24

us 30 years as a nation to decide that the 9-volt battery chirp was a bad

14:30

system but the minute that I saw that I was like angry that I hadn't had that

14:35

10 years ago. Your smoke detectors are hardwired in by default. Okay yeah

14:41

and then the lithium-ion is a backup. Instead of the 9-volt. Yeah they all should do this

14:46

right but anyway that aside I love the idea of building it into something

14:49

that's already in the house like a smoke detector. Did you say that radio like lives on

14:53

after an event? Like so like oftentimes the sites that transmit still are

14:59

getting like they have backup generators at every one of them and they are still

15:02

broadcasting and all that. So when there's a hurricane and stuff ham radio

15:05

is often in the area doing the coordinating of like emergency services because

15:09

cell phones aren't working and yeah so it's radio regular work all you need is power.

15:14

Can I go to okay cuz like I don't think so radio is dying right like in general

15:19

like who's got a radio anymore? I listen to it every day in the car. That's a

15:23

podcast Phil we've talked about this. Sorry I'm old. You see Phil you are such

15:28

a Gen Xer all right you're such an old man. I'm a millennial thank you. I think

15:34

radio has a place in the world. This might be the place Leo you can get every

15:38

single radio station on the planet to be like oh there's this safety thing that

15:41

goes into your home and now every Gen Zer has a radio again and they're like

15:46

whoa free music that's not Spotify. I don't know. Totally. Ad free. Just kidding it's

15:52

definitely got ads. Definitely has ads. A curated playlist based on the number on

15:57

the dial. Vinyls and smoke detectors are coming back. We just received a severe

16:01

weather alert and we'll tell you what it is after this ad from Squarespace. Oh no.

16:06

Squarespace have you ever wanted to make a website? I think it's like I don't know

16:11

if you could lead with the the safety measures but then now you have like a

16:14

fun little like radio in your home that. It tells me if I'm gonna die. Yeah like

16:20

so you've got a combination fire detector, carbon monoxide detector, severe

16:24

weather alert, AM/FM radio. Sorry I take that back. Not AM. AM can go fall in a

16:31

hole and die. In my line of work we call this scope creep. Just throw another

16:35

antenna on the circuit board and you can put whatever you want. Well wait are you

16:39

already connected to a radio or this is completely different? So you know how you

16:42

tune your radio to listen to music between 88 and 108? There are more

16:46

frequencies above and below that and this one happens to operate at 160

16:50

point 162 point something megahertz right? So you can tune to it with a

16:55

special radio and it'll be like the forecast tomorrow is partly cloudy in

17:00

your area. Like it's not fun to listen to usually. But if you put it to some lo-fi

17:03

beats. Weather in your area is good. I'm not picturing using this in an audio

17:10

capacity other than hey we just we were listening to the radio for you we

17:15

learned that there is a flood watch and now we're telling you about it in some

17:19

other way right? Dude Oklahoma's gonna love this. Totally. Every Oklahoman. I still

17:25

think there's a there's a market for an all-in-one safety device of that. I am

17:30

surprised it doesn't exist. Smoke detector, carbon monoxide, severe weather you get

17:34

from the FM. What other safety devices could we put in there? This podcast is

17:39

gonna save hundreds of millions of lives over the course of its eternity. And

17:45

raise a bunch of money by shaming politicians for saying thoughts and prayers. We really are

17:50

altruistic here. Wait is that where we started this one? The thoughts and prayers podcast episode?

17:57

Thoughts and prayers smoke detector. Right yeah. First my severe weather alert thing fails to warn someone and

18:02

then we use Scott's service to raise money for the victims. So they can buy them for

18:06

next time. Every senior citizen must have thoughts and prayers severe weather

18:11

smoke carbon monoxide detector. Symbiotic marketing. I think our businesses should

18:16

partner. Yeah. We could do like some cross marketing. I mean we'll have all four

18:18

connected by the end of this it'll be good.

18:22

Russell what's something that you wanted to do that you haven't had time for? Guys

18:29

I think this fits the theme that all of a sudden spurred on. I hate I've tried all

18:37

these meal prep apps. Meal like HelloFresh all these other shit I don't

18:45

know why they just all kind of suck or too expensive. I paid $50 for this meal

18:50

or I don't know maybe it's like 12 whatever whatever HelloFresh wants to

18:54

tell me it's worth. But it's like yeah but it's like three shrimp and you're

18:57

like this is for a couple like I don't know like give me something to leave in

19:02

my fridge after. They definitely minimize the quantity and sell you on the quality

19:07

and then you open the box and you're like oh my gosh they spent like 30 bucks

19:11

on the styrofoam ice packs all this other crap right. Yep. I'm thinking of a

19:16

more efficient way to do this we'll call it something like Mealtime. Local food

19:22

prep. Alright take all the food in these supermarkets that are not going to

19:28

expire but maybe in the next like they're aging out. The app let's say does

19:34

meals not chicken not like Instacart not like these things you can pick and

19:39

choose recipes and then it's all meal prepped. You're doing your grocery

19:44

shopping or you're going and you pick up your meal that you've had prepped

19:47

already and so when you go home it's like it's like having a recipe and then

19:54

it goes into Instacart and adds all the items to the cart and then you leave the

19:58

store with like five portions of the meal because nobody I don't think any

20:03

home cook anybody that cooks at home makes a meal for just that day you know

20:08

they kind of make it for like two or three days. I'd prefer not to but you're

20:13

right the portions are so small that's what it ends up being. Right that's and

20:16

then you're like what the hell I'm trying to save time. Partner with these

20:20

grocery stores you get a little bit of a cut like hey I'm gonna buy all your

20:23

chicken and I'm gonna make a special on my app where chicken "bleu" is

20:29

ten dollars off you know because we got chicken that's like oversold here right

20:36

and so Meyers not really doing sales anymore like our local grocery store is

20:39

it because they sell all the overstocked pork because Mealtime's got it right

20:45

they're gonna take all they're gonna buy anything that's on sale and do that. So

20:51

that's it and now you go partner with Thoughts and Prayers and now you're

20:55

like all right Mealtrain right you pick up but it's all pre-measured and stuff

20:59

guys like I want I want to feed a family of five you can change you know actually

21:05

make it user experience centric. Wait I need to clarify on this one then so when

21:11

I go to the grocery store am I coming away with like a pre-made frozen meal

21:15

depending on what I wanted or the ingredients everything I have ready to

21:19

go for to make the meal at home myself? That second one. Got it okay.

21:24

All pre-measured based on your requirements we take the yeah you

21:29

measure the chicken and you measure the ingredients and now boom. So we just need

21:33

to find some way for someone to hide and live in like a grocery store preparing

21:37

this and then selling them out of the parking lot. That's it. Love it. Right you

21:41

just you I mean the strip malls that are always connected to those grocery stores

21:45

you just open shop there and it's a drive-thru you know. Love it. Where you put

21:50

in a van you drive around with the van you bring it to everyone's neighborhood

21:53

you got your Ziploc bags you got your meal prep that's all in one. You see like I want to cook

21:57

the food but I want to cook it my way which is the I'm gonna make it for three

22:02

days. Shop for me for that one meal versus going to the grocery store buying

22:06

more of everything and then forgetting shit. It's super easy to do so whoever's

22:12

on this podcast this will disrupt Instacart. Shit they'll be like give me

22:17

your business. Please disrupt it this actually sounds very helpful. It does

22:20

sound very helpful. There's a an existing startup called Imperfect Foods. Love those guys.

22:25

They're kind of sort of in this vein. Do you know about that? Yeah we use them. The ugly pumpkins and

22:30

mm-hmm yeah yeah yeah they're trying to eliminate food waste you know discount

22:34

delivery shippable boxes from your local it seems like something that they could

22:38

pivot into doing like they're kind of kind of sort of meal kitty which they

22:42

don't really do now you want to make some some recipe type suggestions and

22:46

build off of what they're doing a little bit right? That's genius it's like I

22:49

don't I don't need the fancy stuff I just need dinner tonight. Would this be a

22:55

day of so it's like four o'clock five o'clock you're leaving work shoot I

23:00

didn't plan dinner I'm going to pull the app see what they've got oh they've got

23:07

pork and green beans that are within a day or two of going bad so tonight's

23:13

dinner is pork and green bean something yes they've made the meal okay so it's

23:19

day of hey here's what today's expiring food is come on in and get it. I love this

23:26

you get a kit we've got it ready yeah that's great it doesn't have to be like

23:29

full-on expiring it's like two or three days before they put that sticker on it

23:33

you know dinner tonight I just want that somebody do that and what's great is

23:38

that you could sell it at the normal price like I think I go to the grocery

23:42

store and buy it at that same price but you partner with the store and you're

23:46

just making cuts on the margins that everybody's getting so yeah the store

23:50

wants to get rid of it it's just gonna be lost product you're taking it off

23:53

their hands and even if it's for a discount for them yeah selling that

23:57

label is better than it could be yeah TJ Maxx of grocery stores you know it's

24:02

like all the oh fuck god TJ Maxx my wife used to love shopping there used to she

24:11

doesn't anymore now TJ Maxx got canceled didn't you hear I'll send some thoughts

24:18

and prayers Phil welcome we're ready for your idea pitch it to the mischievous

24:31

three I just want to say I am I'm honored to be here you three have been

24:37

an inspiration to my life since I've met you guys 36 minutes and 29 you are an

24:44

inspiration in my life so I'm so - we started with the recurring segment

24:49

Russell's Love Corner of course play the theme music yeah oh yeah sorry

25:04

so I have another introduce introduction to Russell's Love Corner so I believe

25:09

you guys are familiar with the concept of tinder so tinder grinder you swipe

25:13

through hey they don't seem like what I'm looking for they do seem one like

25:17

what I'm looking for what about tinder or grinder for those who have given up

25:23

on love in life so let's say it's the holiday season which is coming up you

25:29

are getting ready to go back for holidays with the family and you are

25:34

sick of your mom or dad or aunt or grandparents saying hey what are you

25:39

when are you gonna find someone to spend your life with why why do you keep

25:43

coming back alone so that's where I'd like to introduce not tinder but settler

25:51

settler so you're going home for for Christmas for Hanukkah for Thanksgiving

25:58

and you don't want your parents to think that you're a waste of humanity who no

26:05

one finds value so you open up the app settler I am male looking for I'm a

26:13

hetero I'm a heteronormative guy so I'm gonna default to saying looking for a

26:16

woman to go to Thanksgiving with so I pull up the app I swipe through all my

26:23

parents would like you so I'm gonna swipe right north that was the good one

26:28

I'm sorry thank you Russell you have to face the direction so you swipe north on

26:35

the like 80 to 90 percent of people who your parents would not object to seeing

26:40

you with because to be honest seeing you with literally anyone is better than

26:43

seeing you alone they swipe north on you both of our families think hey our child

26:52

or family member has a partner who is a improvement over being alone it's a win

26:59

win symbiotic relationship I have a question I will not take any questions

27:05

all right is the person that you are matching with an actor pretending to be

27:12

your boyfriend or girlfriend or is this actually trying to like bottom of the

27:15

barrel find matches here is there another tab that you can select for

27:19

hiring a hooker instead four millennial white middle-aged married men here who

27:30

don't know how tinder is supposed to work that's the key to Russell's love

27:35

corner obviously you just swipe north we've been over this oh that's right

27:39

we're best right experts we're basically experts yes thank you Leo yeah I think

27:44

that's hilarious can you imagine her yes settler like okay well what if you had a

27:49

boyfriend or a fake girlfriend fake boyfriend and you just like all right

27:52

we're gonna FaceTime um you know they're not here right now and you just full-on

27:57

cameo the whole experience all right all day you're like I got 30 calls today

28:03

back-to-back okay so one so one subscription level lets you cameo with

28:10

professional actor another subscription level lets you hire in an actor for in

28:15

person on those days there you go and like the base tier is you have someone

28:22

chat responding this probably look mom I'm dating someone look mom it's my

28:26

boyfriend see they said they love me it's to a different school he goes to

28:30

school in Canada he could be here he doesn't have cell phone service so he

28:33

can't video chat but he can he can text - and then every year you can change the

28:38

person it just looks like wow they're really playing the field you know they're

28:41

really they're really trying for an upcharge you can get the same actor same

28:47

FaceTimer same in person for that premium fee every time you have to hire

28:52

the same actor to keep the lie going it goes up in price yeah until you

28:56

eventually fall in love and get married seems like a rom-com like in the making

29:00

oh yeah this is a hallmark one they actually do fall in love at the end. That's how you market this.

29:03

pivot pivot pivot I've got a movie idea. Settler. S E T T L R. Settler Katan the movie. I admit I cannot wait for the commercial for your app

29:20

original app Phil because it's just gonna be a bunch of happy couples

29:22

looking at the camera going I settled I settled I settled and you can settle too

29:31

I married down no I married down we both married down and both our parents

29:38

remind us of that better than nothing nothing is our tagline there are a lot

29:43

of green card marriages that would absolutely jump on this we've reinvented

29:49

the VHS or magazine based Russian wife system from the 70s that I swear people

29:58

say existed but I cannot imagine that that was actually a real thing the mail

30:01

order bride thing is that real? Have you watched 90-day fiance like that's real

30:06

all I'm going to say is if ICE is listening all marriages that are created from this

30:12

app are truly love marriages and not for the sake of visas that's a good market

30:16

yeah we know who to advertise to ICE? No. When we do targeted marketing we will

30:26

target everyone except ICE. Man I bet you could just even this gets really like

30:31

just download pre-made videos just like all right I like this video it's like oh

30:36

they just sent me a happy Thanksgiving video and it's just like them hey and

30:42

they just do your name it's straight-up cameo like you could just do that like

30:46

it's cameo with escorts is what we have just created here I was thinking this

30:51

was tinder for people who've given up there is a real YouTube channel

30:54

opportunity here where it's just hundreds of videos of hey hun I hope

30:58

you're doing a great having a great holiday with whoever yeah Thanksgiving

31:02

I'm so excited to chat later 200 videos you repeated everyone with different

31:07

names hey hey Russell great great no just say babe we'll talk later babe hun

31:11

well if they use the name it's more believable because according to

31:15

grandparents technology can't be fake I'm still confused am I showing this to

31:19

my grandparents at Thanksgiving yeah am I walking around with a tablet being

31:23

like guys you want to see my latest video from my girlfriend who's totally

31:27

real who's totally real and goes to the other school it shuts them up you know

31:30

that's the thing it just shuts them up and then you can have a nice holiday do

31:34

you guys know about the happy birthday videos on YouTube you can find like

31:38

happy happy birthday Michael it's like a robot and there's like 6,000 of them and

31:45

each channel we need that it's great instead of like happy happy birthday

31:50

Michael it's hey hey Russell how you do it

31:54

fade to black oh they must be going through a tunnel they have bad service

31:59

in Canada that's right in Canada where they're at girlfriend in Canada comm

32:04

slash this is an app that we all can participate in right they don't have to

32:10

know we're married right we can just yeah and to be we can we can just be

32:16

like the perfectly oh that looks like that looks like a good fit right the dad

32:21

bod the the messy hair like that's definitely more of that person's type

32:27

ah and every time they use your video they pay for the whole thing and you get

32:32

a cut guys we could just we could be making bank we are the cameo for escort

32:37

fake relationships and this is all just a stopgap until we get real-time stable

32:42

diffusion and we're generating our girlfriend in the right yep yeah just

32:46

like how uber is like yeah the drivers are temporary someday it'll all be

32:49

robots will be well the people that were paying to say I love you so much honey

32:53

baby wait babe no Kuru we love you I would pay extra be called buckaroo hey

33:01

lovable scamp Oh loveable scamp it's the premium tier Phil thank you for joining

33:09

Russell's love corners adding to that segment and we just want to hear keep

33:16

the brain alive so thank you thank you for joining this pitfall shy anything

33:20

you want to say I mean to be perfectly honest being on the show is probably the

33:26

second greatest honor in my life the first greatest honor being the first

33:30

podcast I was on okay live show I don't think anybody all right I've never heard

33:37

of that show scratch that scratch that scratch that I appreciate you guys and I

33:41

plan on taking my idea fully to market to the exclusion of all of you making

33:47

another 4.2 million and retiring with comfort can you retire with comfort at

33:53

4.2 million I economy actually don't think so not in today's economy yeah

33:58

thank you very much for listening today I hope you enjoyed yourself our website

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