Deliveries Bag, Fish Finder, Modern CB Radios, and Anti-Squirrel Artillery Cannon

I'm Scott. I'm Russell. And I'm Leo. This is Spitball.

Welcome to Spitball, the Pitchin' Kitchen. Where three mouth-breathers... That's us... Empty

our heads of startup and tech product ideas that we have stuck up in there so you can

all have them for free. Anything we say is yours to keep. And this week we are delighted

to have a good friend of all three of ours, Mr. Carl. Welcome to the show. This is going

to be a lot of fun.

Thanks for the invite and I'm glad to be here. Long time listener. Sometime in the future

I'll probably be within like the first 1% of people that joined your show as a follower.

Heck yeah, you're in early days, man. This week we're going to be kicking off the show

by playing a little game that we're going to call Best of AliExpress. So we're going

to take some turns here where we have two actual products from either AliExpress or

Wish.com. For those of you who don't know, Alibaba, the giant conglomerate from China,

is known for medium to low quality stuff that you can get in six to eight weeks if you're

patient, but you can get for dirt cheap here in the States.

I'm a Teemu. I'm a Teemu man now, actually.

I didn't even check Teemu for these products. We're going to give you two actual products

and one that we just made up here. Let's start with our guest, Carl. I'm going to read three

things for you here. You tell me which one you think is fake.

Item number one, a USB powered whisk. This plugs directly into your computer's USB-A

port and spins a whisk quickly. How quick? I'm not quite sure. Item number two, a Lego

coffee mug. This ABS plastic mug is covered with pegs and holes all along the outside

that you can put compatible Lego bricks all over. Or item number three, a fried chicken

leg pillow. It's what it says on the tin, a giant stuffed chicken wing, but it's a pillow.

We got whisk, Lego mug, or fried chicken. Which one's the factual product?

My opinion here is that the Danish people own Lego, and they're not normally very stupid.

My pick is that the Lego is fake. What if it's a Mega Block mug? Would that change your

opinion? Yeah. China's not very famously litigious.

Unfortunately, it was the USB powered whisk, which I made up. I'm glad you all enjoyed

that though. Feel free to take that idea, anyone and everyone.

That was what I'm like, "That's probably online somewhere. I could see that."

Thanks. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Scott, you're up. Number one, a fanny pack with a print

of a photograph of a beer belly gut, so you can wear it on the front.

That's real. Number two, the pimple popper toy, a silicone

nose with holes in it. When you squeeze it, goo comes out.

Probably real. Or number three, the ego boosting mirror.

This is a small LED makeup mirror that has a proximity sensor and a speaker, and it speaks

affirmations such as, "You look great," when you approach.

Oh man. We've got fanny pack with beer gut, pimple

popper toy, or ego boosting mirror. I think I got to go with the ego boosting

mirror. Oh, that's hard.

That is indeed the one that I made up. Well done. It's one, zero. Russell, imitation grass

flip flops. They're normal white flip flops, but along the top part that your foot comes

into contact with is just artificial turf for some reason.

An item titled a food safe shower sponge, a hot pink sponge pictured being held by a

smiling woman standing in a shower, wearing a towel, washing a dish, or the suture training

kit, a wobbly silicone slab about the size of a deck of cards with various slices and

gashes in it so you can practice stitching them closed.

What was number two? Flip flops, food safe shower sponge, or suture

training kit. Food safe.

Totally right. I made up the description. I tried to be specific in details, hoping

you wouldn't notice, but yeah. It's the kind of thing that I, it's what I picture in my

head for AliExpress, right? Yeah.

Carl, number one, a disposable phone charger, a power bank about the size of a D battery

with a permanent six inch old style iPhone lightning charger coming out of one end and

nothing else. There's no way to recharge it. It's one time use only. I assume it has an

alkaline battery inside. Number two, long bendable hose funnel.

On one end, a large opening and on the other, a funnel for peeing into a bottle on long

road trips. And number three, a nail printer, a $500 white cube, roughly the size of a basketball

with a touch screen on the top. Apply a fake nail, place your finger in the hole in the

box, select a design to be inkjet printed onto the nail.

Whoa. We've got disposable phone charger, peeing

on trips hose, nail printer. I want two of those. Not going to say which

though. Don't tell us which.

Nail printer. The nail printer is real.

Whoa. I imagine it doesn't work very well.

Which one is it real? I still want to try it. The disposable phone charger is something

I made up. I imagine there's not enough juice in the D battery to get you too far.

Scott, a novelty Amazon cardboard box, the size of a dice. Very, very small little box

that has Amazon written on the side that's made of resin, I imagine, or something like

that. Fascinating. The taste changing cutlery set. This is a

bulky fork and spoon that I found that each have a mesh compartment on the mouth end to

house a miracle berry fruit tablet, which tastes, changes the taste of sour foods to

be sweet. I don't know if you've tried those before. Or a cloth fish wallet. It's a one

foot long carp made of cloth that unzips along the bottom and it has a print of fish guts

on the inside. I don't want it to be the third one, but I

think the third one's fake. And if it is, we should make it ourselves.

Sorry to say I made up the taste changing cutlery set.

Wow. Hop on in.

There is a fish wallet that you could purchase for the low price of a couple bucks if you

wanted it. Minimum order quantity, 10,000.

Dude. That was on wish.com.

Miracle fruits and untapped like, yeah. Yeah, there's got to be some product in there,

right? They got it. They got to make that.

Russell, a metal Zippo shaped device with two lasers that says you put it in your mouth

to quote cure ulcers and throat to glowing red led truck nuts that go under the back

of your bike seat or three aromatherapy earplugs. This is set of 12 foam earplugs that come

in lavender, lemongrass or rosemary. Oh my gosh.

We've got the Zippo mouth ulcer thing, truck nuts for your bike or aromatherapy earplugs.

I'm sorry, earplugs that smell good. Yeah, they come in 12 each. Your choice of

lavender, lemongrass or rosemary. Essential oils, man. It's all the rage. That's

got to be real. I just never thought to shove them in my ears.

That's all. I feel like the truck nuts market must have

like exploded and people were like, all right, how do we expand our market? So that's got

to be real. So I'm going to go with number one, the light in the mouth.

I'm delighted to inform you that aromatherapy earplugs do not exist, but the metal Zippo

thing does. I have to show you this photo. It is incredible.

We'll put it in the show notes. Good Lord Almighty. It is wonderful. It doesn't exist

anymore. I had to find it on the internet archive. What the market for that isn't there.

It's aromatherapy earplugs though are freaking genius.

You like that? Yeah.

Thank you. The essential oil like world like, oh, just

dip earplugs into essential oils and you got a lavender, you know.

Heals your headaches. Instantly.

Look at that. It's like, so we're looking at a $38 device

that looks like a woman shoving a lightsaber down her throat.

Why is her mouth so wide? Why is her mouth so open?

USB type low level laser therapy apparatus for the oral ulcer and throat home treatment.

Dude, it looks like a lightsaber. It's good shit.

Guaranteed to remove ulcers and give you cancer. That too could be yours if you have access

to a time machine. All right. Who's up first this week?

I'm going to do drop shipping. Like everybody's got to do a drop shipping business right there.

All right, Russell, as the winner, I think, were you, who won? I didn't even count.

Russell wins. Russell wins. You go ahead and go first. What

do you got for us this week? All right, guys. So I don't know. I just watch

a lot of videos lately on Tik Tok or it shows up in my newsfeed, right? Of packages getting

stolen on Amazon. Amazon packages, common problem. A lot of famous YouTubers, Mark Rober,

creates different ways to combat these thieves. All right. I'm also personally having issues

where Amazon packages get soaking wet because they don't have like a roof over the front.

So packages get dropped off and they get wet. My idea is a bag, a small bag that allows

package Amazon delivery drivers to drop a bag, a box into this bag and they close it

up and it's like a one way lock, right? Throw it in the bag, you close it. Amazon's happy

because they don't have to deal with less. They can deal with less theft. The Amazon

driver can show that it was sealed. It keeps it a little waterproof, reduces theft, and

then you just unlock it, right? With a simple combination code.

I tried looking for this, but everything out there is like a giant box for packages. I'm

like, no, I don't want a box in front of my house. When packages arrive to not get stolen.

So here's a bag, you just throw it in the bag and leave. That's it. Simple.

That's so simple because you're right. I've looked myself for those giant chests or whatever

that the Amazon delivery driver can put them in. And they're just, they're huge, they're

ugly. My wife would kill me if we had one of those on our front porch anywhere. That's

a really good idea. Is the bag attached to your house somehow?

Yeah, like a bike lock. I think you just straight up bike lock it. I think Amazon should pay

for every Amazon, like you put Amazon Prime logo on it. Boom, comes with your membership.

Every year you get a new bag, you know, it doesn't last very long, but it reduces theft.

You expect your Prime users to have a ton, a big subscription. Hell, Walmart.com is going

after Amazon. Walmart, you give out those bags, you know, they become the household

staple or something. We're different. We're all about security, you know, something like

that. I love this too, because your exit strategy,

one, you could just sell these as is on Amazon or wherever. But two, your exit strategy should

be, I got the manufacturing, everything set up. I'm just going to sell this whole thing

to Amazon. Maybe they'll buy 10,000. Yeah, I got to file a provisional patent before

this one goes live. No, I mean, I want somebody to take this, right? I want somebody to build

this because I feel like it's a no brainer $25 bag that I buy at Amazon and it just...

Get them on AliExpress. It'll be $4 each. It'll be great.

Yeah, it's just peace of mind. You know, you may never have had a package stolen.

Would you call it the package sack? The package sack.

Pack sack. Dude, that's a great name. The sack, the box

sack instead of the box sack. Nothing round goes in here. Oh man, we need some women on

this show. Yeah.

I don't think you'd need anything that crazy though. Like even if it was just a burlap

bag, like that's still going to be enough to deter people from trying to open a freaking

burlap bag on someone else's porch. You see all these videos of someone just like walking

up, grabbing a package and walking away. I think if you added five to 10 seconds of

inconvenience to them, that would be enough to deter most thefts here.

Especially the people with the ring doorbells that are like, even with those doorbells,

they're just shamelessly stealing them and walking away. You get like five, 10 seconds

hypothetically. Like if they have a knife and they came ready to go, right? You'd still

capture that. I think a little bit more, it's a pain in the ass to steal like in general.

So why, if it's a little bit harder, not that I have any experience stealing, okay. It just

seems like...

Sure, Russell.

Nothing, and like nothing like that exists outside of those boxes, right? You got this,

it's like a ugly ass box that you can't steal.

I'm picturing kind of like what those big zipper cooler bag type things, but can you

elaborate on how you, you imagine this being a one way thing? How does it like lock so

that they can't reopen it or someone can't walk away with your whole bag?

Okay. I've thought a little bit about this, but you have one end that's locks and the

other end that's a one way, I don't know, zip tie, we'll say like a zip tie. Okay. One

ends a zip tie, one ends a lock. And so it's always locked. The delivery driver comes in,

pulls it, the zip tie is one way and the only way to open it is through, you cut it. Then

you replace the zip tie with like some, some engineer will come up with a reusable zip

tie.

That's a true MVP right there. We're just going to put a zip tie on this burlap.

50 zip ties, call it a day. You know, when I was Googling this a while ago, have you

ever seen those gates? I don't know. It's the craziest thing. There are some gates out

there with three different locks and any one of those three locks will unlock the gate,

but it's structured in a way so that one lock opens the whole gate.

I know what I'm trying to understand that. So I'm picturing burlap sack with what different

compartments in it. So I can put multiple packages inside of the same one. Oh, I got

you. I mean, you could do three. Dude, here's another thing. You know, what's a pain in

the ass when I have to sign for something, man, can I just like leave the signature on

the bag, let's say, and now Amazon knows, all right, I'm going to drop this off in the

like security bag. So now I don't have to worry about a signature as much. Reduce that

whole cost that happens in the logistics system.

No, because the point of the signature is you accepting like, yes, I got it. Yes, it's

not damaged and all that. So you're saying if you had this as an extra level of guarantee,

you would feel less like you needed one, right?

It's both for the shipper and for the receiver, because it's an inconvenience for everybody,

right? Including the logistics person, right? It's like, all right, the signature parts,

the worst part for everybody. I have to be home all day to wait for this damn package.

With box sack, you don't have to worry about that.

Package sack.

At the very least, get the branding for this down before this episode airs.

Pack sack.

What's stopping me from this, from me making this?

It's such an easy path to market too.

Right. It's just Amazon theft. Every ring video about a package thief, you're just like,

"Oh, get the box sack." I love that word now. It's going to catch on.

I wonder how much every year Amazon loses in having to ship things twice, package theft.

If you can get the costs for your whole project just below that, right? That's your target

price.

Oh, yeah.

You can manufacture them for cheaper than what it costs them, then they're coming out

ahead and you've got a pitch.

Yep. Stupid easy. I just got to find it on AliExpress.

My question is, would you tie a cable to it with a giant retracting motor and then allow

enough slack so that someone can steal it, run halfway across to your yard, lock that

sucker down and suck it right back to the house?

Hell yeah. That's great. Big old steel cable.

I don't even think you need the retracting motor. I just want to see them run away with

it.

Or like a bungee cable, but something thick so they kind of get snapped back. That's fun.

Get to the end of the rope and fall down.

Hack sack sap.

I think it needs a rebrand if it's got some sort of like prank element to it. That's great.

That's the add on. That's the add on.

I think I'd have more fun watching people get the thing yanked out of their hands and

watching their reaction than I would the glitter bomb. That's fun.

You know, it made me think too, like maybe you get rid of the whole sack component and

it's just the Amazon delivery driver just stabs a pencil or like the locking mechanism,

not pencil, a lock into the box, right? You know, this is crazy. But like making it easier,

right? Because a package driver is like, all right, I'm here. Like punch card. It clicks

in. It doesn't. It's hard to retract out like those drywall screws, you know?

I've just pictured my new 70 inch television with a stab going right through the middle

of it when I open it.

Yeah, you have steel cable to some sort of lock that can be detached on the end and on

the end is like a VH, a very high bonds, you know, 3M sticky thing where it kind of adheres

to the box. You just throw the box away with the reusable pad or the disposable pad and

you've got, you know, way cheaper version, a tether.

A tether. Yeah. Yes.

That you have a key for.

Then you could have the tether run over up the side of the house to a giant barrel full

of building bricks. And when the tether gets to the end, it releases the trigger on the

barrel full of building bricks that falls down two stories to the ground and pulls that

thing right back out of that guy's hand.

Is this a roadrunner?

What if when the delivery driver drops off your package, it triggers the tether to suck

the package up to the second floor of your house?

That's fun.

Your package is like bear bagged up at the second floor of your house.

Hoisted.

And no one's going to steal it. The bear can't take the goods, man.

You just pull in all your deliveries in the second story window. That's wonderful. And

you can have a bunch of barrels of hot oil to pour on your enemies.

Just murder holes on the side of your house.

Dude, tie it to a piano and you got a full Looney Tunes sketch. Like.

Just a little legal disclaimer. I'm not advocating at all for anyone setting any booby traps.

It's not a trap until someone gets hurt.

That's what the law says, I'm sure.

All righty, Scottie B, let's see what you got this week.

All right. In usual fashion, I have a... Well, I started with a half-baked idea and then

I put it in the chat GPT and it finished it for me, which I was like, that's pretty cool

actually. So every year I go to a fish camp out in the middle of nowhere, Quebec. And

it's just with a bunch of old guys who have been doing this for decades. And all of these

guys are absolutely convinced that in these dozens of huge lakes we go to, there are only

like three spots that you can catch fish.

What I want to do is come up with a data-driven way to determine where optimum fishing spots

are instead of just some old guy's gut feeling because he caught a fish there in the seventies.

So this gets a little more elaborate than my past ideas, but what I'm thinking is that

you take whatever kind of fish you were trying to catch. In our case, it was bass. And I'm

going to release a hundred bass into a couple of these lakes. And then I'm going to track

the position of each of these bass and see where they go, where they hang out, what they're

doing during certain times of day, what they're doing at different barometer readings, and

just get a heat map of the lake doing that. So I can come back and be like, this is the

actual spot where we should be fishing, not this spot just because you saw a log there

once. So that's where I got stuck. Like, this is great in concept. How the hell do you execute

this? Like you can't put little GPS tags on fish. I just couldn't think of a good way

to triangulate them. So I put all this idea into ChadGBT and it instantly came up with

this little sonar tablet. I'm like, what the hell is that? And apparently it's a little

thing that researchers use where it'll just constantly emit like every five, 10 seconds,

a ping, like a submarine. And I put a different one in for each fish at a different frequency.

And then at the same time, I put little receivers at different points around the lake, at least

three, maybe four. And from these, each of these fish are emitting these little sonar

pings. As long as I have the data from all four collection stations, I can tell exactly

where each fish is at any point. So this is kind of where it gets crazy. Let's just, I

don't know, do this to a couple of different lakes in different areas, create these heat

maps and figure out the types of spot that fish actually want to go to. And then that's

kind of where I got lost. Do we, yeah, sell the data or if there's one particular lake,

we will offer a service that you can come in and map the lake of whatever kind of fish

you want. It is a huge technological challenge, but my God, it sounds so much fun.

How much data do you need, I guess is the real question. Like a week?

Yeah, a week or two is worth should be plenty at this point. These fish aren't just going

to sit in one spot as they're going to get eaten by something bigger than them. They're

going to actually go to where they want to go.

What are the receivers like? Like, do you have to have like a lot of receivers?

I don't think you would need that many just to triangulate something. I mean, you need

at least three, but if you have a weird corner or shape of the lake where it bends around

like an oxbow, you'd probably need one at the end of each of those.

Okay, if I were to do this MVP style, I would literally just throw a bunch of bobbers on

a bunch of those fish. And you literally just watch the bobbers. And you just look around

the lake for the glowing orange bobbers. Yep. Or glow in the dark.

Who needs hardware? I got bobbers and a glow stick. So we're just going to follow them.

That's right. And then you're just like, oh, a lot of glow sticks landed over there, you

know, or all the bobbers, right? You just like drive around the lake afterwards. You're

like, where did all these bobbers land? You know, you can have them dissolve. Okay, keep

it eco-friendly. Have the hook in the fish dissolve after a certain amount of time. And

then it's super low cost, Scott. You solved your problem.

No, I want the complex hardware solution. I mean, it doesn't work if there's like current.

Fishes arch nemesis, current. Current. There's so many factors and every single person I

fish with believe they are the most superstitious bunch about every little thing affects every

possible way to catch fish. Oh, so it's just a bunch of hoopla. It's astrology.

It's essentially astrology in a aluminum small boat.

Have you guys heard of SOSUS? No. So like during the Cold War, the US wired the entire

North Atlantic for sound. So there's this microphone array to listen for Soviet submarines.

So what if you did something that had like three or 50 sonar buoys all across various

lakes that then sent out a ping and then mapped where the fish were on any particular day

at any particular time and then mapped them on a web page that then said depth, water

temperature and where they're congregating. Whoa, that's great. You just drop a few mics

around in the various spots of your little lake there.

One of the arguments that we've had up there is we struggle with fish finders before. I

thought it was really cool actually. It's like a floating fish finder and you cast it

into the middle of the lake and it maps out the bottom of the lake and in theory also

acts as a fish finder. It did not work at all on these lakes that we were on. There

was just too many weeds and logs and it was saying there was fish everywhere when you

can just clearly see that there's nothing. I think that would work really well on a larger

lake. I don't know about these smaller Quebecian ones.

There's got to be some way to detect movement then, right? Like vibrations of the water?

Is LIDAR, isn't that light? LIDAR is light. Dude, they're on Roomba vacuums. They clean

my house. Can't they find some fish? I'm just going to go to the lake and drop a Roomba

in and hope it maps it real quick before it sinks.

I mean, it's halfway there. Just waterproof a Roomba. There you go. You can just see a

fishing, a guy out trawling for fish somewhere on some lake with like 50 Roombas going around.

I'm in circles. Doesn't iRobot, the company that makes Roombas

has like a pool cleaning one. We're like 88% of the way there.

Tells you where the fish are and cleans the bottom.

Scott, there you go. Here's a fish researchers, buy this up, dude. You got multi markets here.

I want to track fish behavior. Use our LIDAR or sorry, whatever it is. Yeah. Roombas.

What if the Roomba was shaped like the fish you're trying to hunt? Then it could swim

with the fishes. The fish mole.

Yeah. Yeah. So then it goes, it just swims around until it identifies, Hey, there's what

I am. And then it follows that fish at speed, at depth, and then just lives with that fish

until it finds more. And then it says, Oh my gosh, there's a bunch of us. And then it

sends up a little bobber up to the top and then calls the fishermen there and says, Yo,

yo over here. This is where you want to drop your hook.

This is fish terminator. And then Skynet, which is humans come and attack all the fish.

Hello, fellow fish. Where are we congregating today? The fish mole.

Okay. Okay. What about this? Could you, I don't know if fish congregate in certain spots,

they got to be pooping the whole time. Right? Can't you just find the piles of fish poop

in the bottom of the Lake and just be like, Oh, a lot of poop here and somehow track it

that way. I didn't think I'd be Googling. Does fish

poop float today? It doesn't. It dissolves. Haven't you ever

watched him at the dentist? No, exactly what you're talking about. I think

everybody else knows the long trail that just is the longest dingleberry of all time for

a fish. But then it just, the end of it just kind

of dissipates. So what if you feed a bunch of fish, like

a tracker, like poop track? I was going to say, maybe, maybe you could

sense the difference of the poo water and like map it, like sample it as, as you go

in like a grid pattern and sample the water looking for the high concentration water of

poo water. Yeah. Like you build up too much ammonia in

an aquarium. So that's why you have to switch it out. You probably could have some sort

of detection. You know, it's, it's just like those people

that hunted for COVID in the wastewater streams. You know, maybe, maybe that's what you need

to do. You give the fish a virus and then you can look for it in the lake and where

it's concentrated, you know, that's where the virus is.

So I got to catch all the fish first. Or you could make, what if you could make

the poop float all of a sudden? Okay. Okay. Hear me out now. Now all the fish poop that

floats to the top, you're like, found the fish. It smells like fish shit.

Like I like this. Yeah. You need a bait that changes their diet to be more fatty. So it

floats up. There it is.

Some Chipotle or something and just sprinkle it in.

There's some lighting element in there, you know, so you throw the nightlight on fish

shit floaters. And that's what I want to eat too, is a fish

that you've given a different diet so that it's poo floats. I'm sure that hasn't tainted

the meat at all. Does that count as a GMO?

What's great about it is you don't even have to catch any fish, Scott. You just dump the,

you just fill the lake with all this like pig slop, floating fish food, pig slop, right?

With flora, like what are those? Lumino, fluorescent. Do you know what I'm talking about?

Biofluorescent, bioluminescent. That is so fascinating. Could you create a

heat map of a lake that like you could see at night, maybe something that emits some

ultraviolet or IR thing. And just feed the fish.

And feed it to the fish and make a heat map of where they're at.

What if you fed the fish tritium dust? Does tritium come in dust form?

Well, I mean, you can get it in a hard form. I mean, it's, I assume that you could dust

it because I mean, they use it for like gun sights. It lasts for like 20 years. So I mean,

why couldn't you grind it up and feed it to the fishes?

What's tritium? It's a radioactive isotope that glows in the

dark by itself for like 10 years. Oh, so it goes away in 10 years?

No, not really. It hangs around for about a hundred.

We're just going to chum the water with it. Oh.

I think I would rather eat fish that was eaten pork than fish that was eaten tritium.

Have you had tritium fish though, Leo? That's true. I shouldn't knock it till I

get it. I'll do anything once, right? That's right. And that you would do once.

All right, Leo, what do you got? Okay. So we missed out on the era of CB radio

and its popularity. I think it's peaked. It's come and gone. It still has a niche with some

truck drivers, but it isn't popular and I want to bring it back. So what would a CB

radio in the year of our Lord 2023 even look like? I'm glad you asked. I think we should

have a on off switch in every cabin of every car that can either be retrofit or built in

always on microphone. You're not clicking on and off. This is just a conversational

chat room that you have that is ambiently with every other car in your near proximity,

say a few car lengths, maybe even a little more, I don't know, a few hundred feet that

you are always hearing what they're doing. They're always hearing what you're doing.

You just can have a conversation and choose to participate or not. But someone cuts you

off, yell into the ether, see if they have their radio on. You want to thank someone

for letting you merge? Just yell. Maybe they'll have theirs on and you can say thanks. I feel

like it's hard to communicate with other cars. You do the wave, you do the like honk briefly

to say I'm mad at what you did, but there's got to be a better way to communicate. Right?

And CB radio built a whole culture around itself of like slang and interesting cultural

things that have been lost to time. The way that memes travel, you know, I feel like this

could happen IRL where you have like local slang, you have ongoing something to do other

than listen to podcasts and be by yourself. Ham radio tries to be this a little bit, but

it's too niche. I think it's got to be something that's easy to access and CB would be it,

right? You just have those existing frequencies. Don't worry about clicking on and off and

fumbling with stuff. Just build it in. Either I'm participating or I'm listening to the

radio.

That's dope. I think like when a traffic accident happens or like when you're stuck in traffic,

like everybody's like, what happened? What happened? You know, and you could literally

because the distance thing, like I bet you could walkie like a game of telephone. Sure.

What's going on? Guy 10 cars ahead of me said this, pass it on. Totally. I think it would

get people off their phones more too. Oh, true. People are fumbling with ways or whatever

trying to figure out what's going on with this traffic accident. All the cop detection

would be amazing. Right. Cop ahead. Dude. And truckers would love it. Truckers would

be using it. Like if they're using it already, I feel like that's their jam, right? You just

talk it. Well, maybe that's also probably the problem is you're talking to truckers

half the time. I don't know. Thank you truckers for listening. But if you're listening to

this right now and you're in your car, isn't there some car that you've seen in the last

few minutes that you think like that must be an interesting person. What a weird vanity

plate. Why do they have a sticker on their window for the whatever flag? Wouldn't it

be fun to just like have those fleeting moments? I don't know. There's always the bad egg who

has road rage problems, but I feel like it'd be fun to like you can just like turn them

off though and be like some guys yelling. You'd be like, I don't need to listen to you

right now. And then it's just back to old school road rage. If it's yeah, you could

turn yours off or if it's a digital thing, we could have a block system where everyone's

on a slightly different thing. Yeah, you just say, you know what, that one car, you've got

your list of seven license plates that are all around you right now and you tap on one

or something to just take them off.

We can have rating systems for different ones. You thanks for letting me in five out of five.

That was a poor merge three out of five. But you know, it's funny, Leo, I've thought about

I've as I've sat in traffic, like how I would communicate with people and I was like, maybe

you put, but these are ideas that suck like an led strip in the back of your car that

gives thumbs up or thank you or whatever.

That exists. Yeah, it does. Someone has a little like circle led that makes smiley faces

or frowny faces and that you can press, but it's not the same, right? That's one directional

cringy. Yeah. Okay. Another thing too, I think this is actually crazy, but don't cars like

self-driving cars would communicate to each other, right? Like that's a thing. Could you

use that to like have cars talk to each like have cars talk to each other in? Yeah. Prevent

accidents. Yeah. That's part of the plan. Yeah. That they're able to communicate state

of light up ahead and plan their speed accordingly. And if you get self-driving cars down to the

millisecond, you don't have to have stoplights at all because they can thread in between

each other.

Also, this would make an amazing rom-com movie. You just are like always on the highway, lady

on the radio, you know, I leave work every day and we just always hit it off. We always

beat up around exit 40. Do you have like codes like you have like that? That's a whole culture,

right? Like you have your own call signs and stuff in ham radio. Yeah. CB people would

make their own like slang names for each other, but that was just anyone could have one for

any reason. And radio, you have to like take a test for and get licensed and get a call

sign and all that. Oh, so what's the what's CB radio? It's just like it's it's a walkie

talkie for a couple of different channels for anyone who's got a truck. Like it's I

don't think you need a license. I'm pretty sure about. No, I don't think you do. Yeah,

no, you don't need a license. We should all get CBs in our cars. That way we can talk

to each other around town. That'd be fun. I'd love that. Oh, be awesome. So is that

like what all walkie talkies use? So like Scott has like a walkie talkie, right? Like

that's all CB radio. Totally different. Yeah. All right. How do you? Yeah. So we got to

make a romcom movie in order for this to catch on, because I feel like it's just like it's

the adoption of it. Right. Because this already exists. Everybody go buy a walkie talkie.

Right. And sit on Channel eight. And that's it. That's the or the walkie talkies prebuilt.

Right. How do you I think it just be like a device you press in your car. I'm almost

picturing like it's integrated into Android auto or something where it's just, Hey, it's

just another app I can select on here. And here's who's close to me. And like Leo said,

I could block this guy or mute this guy or say, Hey, I'm, I'm free to talk right now.

There's something charming about it being an actual radio signal coming and going, but

really this could be modernized over the internet. And you have like, you know, I define my range.

I want to hear the chatter all over the region versus just in my local area. You could do

it over an app, but then you just have to have good constant cell phone service, which

is tricky. I like it. I really like it where it's local to your car. Just like I got a

hundred yards in every direction. CB radio goes five miles. Dude, this is like Omegle,

but in your car. Yeah. Seriously though. Chat roulette. Yeah. Car roulette. The application

for this would be really easy in my new pickup. Cause it's, it's connected to the internet

and you can just download apps. So you could just put a new audio app in the truck and

download it right to the, to the touch screen in the pickup. And it would know its GPS coordinates

and have access to the microphone and speakers and be ready to roll. How soon until people

start advertising across it? Day one. Unskippable 30 second ads before you can start your car.

Oh, I was just thinking to some guy who's just blasting like it's the next level of

bumper sticker advertising. Right. The abuse vector is pretty high. If everyone's got one

of these to start blaring their, uh, Rick roll at maximum DB. Overpasses too. You just

hang your radio on, on repeat. Just like, yeah. That's why this blocking feature is

kind of a necessity. I think I could see it being very useful during an election year.

Oh man. Yeah. Anytime. Anytime. Ham radio has a bad rep for being old crotchety guys,

um, vent for political opinions or what their radio sounds like or the weather. So we have

to figure out culturally how we make this something that's enjoyable. I would very much

enjoy that if I had that in my car, especially on long trips. Dude, this would be okay. Like

this could be like a geo caching thing. I'm wondering like, okay. Kind of like you go

around town and you listen to audio messages. Kind of like how you go find geo caches. I

don't know. You could play on that a little bit. So gamify it. Yeah. Yeah. Something like

that. Like, Oh, I'm going to leave a, well, I don't know if that's possible. I'm sure

there's a way to do it where you have little devices that repeat a message and turn it

into a feature, right? Turn the, turn the spam into the culture itself. Like numbers

stations. You've heard of those? No, no. Oh, Scott, you'd like this especially there's

this is the thing you know about right, Carl, the number of stations, the radio there's,

there's radio frequencies that people have observed saying random numbers at consistent

times throughout days, weeks, months. And they assume that it's for spies who are abroad

to listen into, to know that their orders are, but you there's all over the East coast,

especially you can tune your radio to certain frequencies and just hear these mysterious

numbers that nobody knows where they're coming from. That's terrifying. Yeah. That's a good

Wikipedia rabbit hole for you listeners. If you want to take an afternoon and just sort

of check starting at numbers stations and ending up, you know, somewhere in the cold

war listening to Carl's underwater sonar system. Is it a person talking into the microphone

or is it like robot? Yeah. Whoa. 12, seven 88 three. Yeah. Whoa. I don't, I don't like

that. That's a thing. I don't like knowing that. I don't know if there's still a thing.

It's probably pretty easy for someone to track them down in this year, but uh, they were

a thing for many decades. Use the triangulating fish finder. You could find them. No problem.

There you go. Wait, you can't find people, right? You can't like, there's no way to track

like the signal. A sport in amateur radio is called foxhole hunting. And some Saturday,

some guy will go find like a Denny's or sit in his car in the middle of nowhere and every

pre agreed upon interval. So I will broadcast for 30 seconds every 10 minutes and people

that's the first to find them wins and it's practice so that if somebody is being abusive

and the FCC wants to take a tower down or whatever, they can find them. But yeah, you

basically have directional antennas. So you're doing the like trying to figure out where

it's coming from. You know, when you're finding water, right? It's like a compass kind of,

but a compass that you can only look at for a few seconds every couple of minutes. And

so you try to figure out where they are, you know, so yes, you can track them, but kind

of on a two dimensional plane. Why do you ask?

I was just curious. Yeah, because I want to find these number of people.

All right, Carl, what do you have for us this week?

All right. So not this past summer, but the previous summer, my wife and I decided to

plant an orchard. So we bought two apple trees and two peach trees. The apple trees not doing

so hot, but they're still alive. They're still green. One died, but we replaced it and it's

kind of limping along. But the peach trees have been just booming. So the first year

we put the peach trees in, we got a whole bunch of peaches growing on them, looked great.

And then within like middle of August, within like one day, all the peaches were gone. On

both trees the first year. And it was like we couldn't figure out where all these peaches

go. So then this year we had like a bumper crop, like I'm talking between the two trees,

we had like 300 peaches gone. What?

Two weeks, August, like one day they were just gone off the trees. So there's some type

of animal that's eaten the peaches and we're pretty sure it's like a squirrel or a bird

or who knows what. So that's been very frustrating. So we're like, let's do some bird nests or

some like bird nets. And I bought like an eagle and I bought an owl and I'm like getting

irritated and I'm trying to figure out what to do with my garden. Additionally, the apple

trees aren't getting the right type of water or enough watering or the right water timing.

So we've had this water issue. So I was thinking that I like artillery cannons. Like those

things are awesome. Like they're sweet. They shoot things like this is awesome. So I thought

what could I combine to take care of my watering issue and my animal issue at the same time?

And so I thought, what if I made a multi-axis laminar flow water cannon that could shoot

water in a pattern wherever I needed it. And I'd be able to like set up auxiliary cameras

around my garden that when it sensed movement of like a squirrel, it would call in an artillery

strike from my automated water cannon to blast the squirrel. And then it would also like

during the day when it's just sitting there, it'd say, oh yeah, we need to, we need to

distribute like four and a half gallons to this tree area and four and a half gallons

to this tree. And so it would sit there and just, you know, rapid fire, you know, right

a carpet bomb, this tree and then that tree. And then it would carpet bomb my corn rows

and then it would carpet bomb my raspberry bush and my blueberry bush and in those specific

areas. So I'm not wasting all that water on grass that no one cares about. I'm putting

it on the plant where I need it, but then also pestering the animals that come, not

killing them, not harming them. Just anytime an animal shows up, I'm just calling in an

artillery strike to just barrage that sucker with water. And I'm, I'm thinking that, you

know, a laminar flow cannon that shoots water at high pressure over a long distance might

even be able to be like set up in the middle of my backyard and water my entire lawn. So

it sits there and just runs, you know, 24 seven or eight hours a day or whatever it

is, but it's also on guard for my garden. This rules. Dogs are going to love this. Pete

is going to love this. I'm not hurting the animals. That's right. You're watering them.

So growing up, we had hostas all along our house, like a huge row of them, unfathomable

amount of hostas and without fail, deer would come in in the season and eat them. And my

dad tried sound devices. My dad tried all kinds of stuff until finally we had a motion

detecting sprinkler. Whoa. And it was an instant fix. Squirrels would get in there. A deer,

excuse me, would get near it. It would just tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick,

and then be done. And they wouldn't go anywhere near it. Not even afraid. They were just afraid

of the sound and the movement, not even like getting blasted. Maybe they got it a little

bit or something, but they were perfect circles of protection and right outside the range

of where this thing would trigger, they would be all eaten. Right? Whoa. It's exactly what

you're talking about, but not automated. I love this. I can tell you from experience

that it would work beautifully. I just want to feed 10,000 pictures of a, of squirrels

and rabbits into a AI bot and have it a camera system with a triple axis, be able to recognize

them and pinpoint the exact X, Y, Z of this guy with a camera. With a camera. So you can

watch the fun, of course, record it and make a highlight reel. Nice. Maybe you have like

one camera mounted on the artillery piece. That's like zone control. And like, cause

you're going to have the hose run to this thing. You're going to have probably a high

pressure pump. You're probably going to have a little bit of power. So it's, it's going

to be a pretty fixed unit in my brain. You know, you might need a camera in a different

position to like, look from a different angle that then also coordinates and triangulate.

So then you'd need some calibrating shots to call in like, okay, we're going to coordinate

where this is and then it can fire for effect. Bring it up, bring a water artillery round

in and land it right where they need it. Be the kids summer fun. Yeah. Put it on fun sprinkler

mode and it's like raining spots and stuff. You make games out of it. Teach it to target

small children. This'll be perfect. That would be so fun. This would actually be a lot of

fun growing up. That is, I think that's the bigger market. Carl, screw all that stuff.

Like you turn this into like, uh, this is an adult automated super soaker turret. Right.

Oh, it could have all the modes. It could have a child play mode where it goes out and

just goes crazy. It could have regular sprinkler mode where it runs around and just does the,

you know, and, and sprays in a big giant arc on the grass or it could have, you know, prestrigion

strike mode. Don't you dare eat my rose bushes or a joystick mode that you're manually controlling

for fun. Oh, absolutely. You could have like a video game controller and some POV goggles

with a targeting patch on it. And you could sit there and intercept it and shoot the squirrels

if you wanted to with water. Of course, I'm only talking about water, but you know, it

would be so much fun. And then if, if a precision strike is called in, you could have it automatically

save the clips and then automatically snip the video so that you have the replay reel

so that you can enjoy it and upload it to YouTube. Yes, yes, yes. Dude, super soaker

is gonna, if you like turn this into super soaker toy, boom, like do the, do the laminar

flow thing, right. For, you know, the other market, but you sell this kind of this game

concept as super soaker, boom, you got a market. I'm picturing like a target or something on

it and kids got to sneak up on this turret and try to hit the target with their own water

in order to shut it down or something long enough for them to, I don't know, capture

the flag or whatnot. You just got to get past this thing. A capture the flag mode on it

would be pretty sweet. It's like spy mode, right? Like I'm a secret agent trying to capture

the flag. There's nothing crazy about this too. Like all the technology for this is there.

It's just putting it together. That's why I picked that as my idea. Like what's the

MVP, right? So like, I can't, is it hard to do these like giant ass pumps? Do you have

to like have a big pump to like shoot water that hard and fast?

That's a great question. How hard is it to lob a artillery amount of water across the

yard? Water's pretty heavy. Well, I looked into that and the trick is really to get the

laminar flow. Cause then you can send a packet, but you're limited by the surface tension

of the water. Cause as the velocity goes up and you get this packet of water going, if

it's bigger than a regular rain droplet, which rain droplets are the size rain droplets are

because of some actual physics constraints. And so what will happen is, is if you send

something say the size of your thumb, it will dissipate into at a certain velocity and with

not enough surface tension, it will separate and disintegrate into, you know, the corresponding

drops that would be a droplet size. And so then your targeting accuracy starts to go

down and your velocity starts to go down because you have more drag. And then you have a larger

amount of droplets that are going to dissipate from your normal grouping. And so that's,

that's kind of an important shotgun. So then it ends up being a shotgun. We have some variation

of this that self fills biodegradable water balloons and just a lobs them across the yard.

You won't have to deal with that. And he's just, there is your artillery strike is water

balloons coming from seemingly nowhere from the sky. Essentially a automated trebuchet.

Oh, that's great. I just want to build that biodegradable. Yeah, you're right though. It's

all physics. If you know the exact weight of the projectile, what if you didn't care

so much about precision accuracy and you did the trebuchet, but just, it's like a five

gallon buckets worth of water that gets lobbed. Would you get the like enough of a spray,

you know? Well, you don't want to knock the peaches off the tree. All right. That's true.

You know, that was, that's the original goal here. Or snap a bird's neck. Yeah. You can

use it to harvest the peaches. It'll be great. What about the angle? What if you just had

a high arc, like literally create rain on your lawn though? What if you did the five

gallon bucket, but you lob it so high in the air, the spray, right? Just covers the whole

lawn bucket after bucket after bucket. I don't know how long that's going to take, but the

laminar flow thing is great. Yeah. I don't know. I like that idea. I like making rain

on my lawn through one trebuchet. I've never imagined laminar flow that has a brief on

off. Like the only time I've ever seen laminar flow is when it looks like a solid pillar

because it's constant, but I've never seen intermittent laminar flow. Well, I guess there's

like jumping fountains that sometimes look kind of cool where they've got the splash

pad. Yeah. Downtown. Yeah. They're always a little like disturbed though. I've, you know,

those really precise videos of jumping fountains that are like the splash pads where they're,

you know, like intermittently on, off, on, off, on, off. You could get something really

cool going there when you scale it up. That would be cool. That sounds like a fun and

very hard to pull off hardware project. Very cool. Yeah. You could sell add ons like additional

barrels. You could do like, I have a quad barrel, a sprinkler. It would be sweet if

it was a quad barrel. And then, and then the barrels kind of came back and forth. Like

one of those, uh, bofors that they had in World War II. Anti-aircraft guns. I was picturing

four barrels, but they're all along the roof in different spots. So you have this sort

of reigning terror of different angles and stuff of various blobs of water from all sides,

overwhelming the enemy. It'll be squirrels. Maybe that's how you make the valves work.

You move the barrels and slide them in and out. So it's like the bofors, but the sliding

in and out is where it takes a new slug of water and admits it into the barrel. A slug

of water's excellence. Shoot a water slug with a compressed air backup and just all

day, all night. Turn off the artillery, honey. It's hard to do that quiet. I bet. Air compressor

running all night. It's just knob in the backyard for these poor squirrels. You could design

it like a mini gun, you know, like a Gatling gun, like one of those spins. Yeah, sure.

Okay. Like super, why is it super soaker? Like all over this stuff, like we need adult

water guns or water turret systems. Like this is our generation growing up. We need like

this version in our lives. My roommate in college modified a nerf gun to where it was

like really painful levels of speed. It would leave welts. They needed that scene, but for

super circuit, that probably exists, right? Where you have like stainless steel canisters

instead of plastic shit. Have you seen the, uh, the phalanx gun that they put on the U.S.

warships that intercept missiles that are inbound towards a U.S. warship? Yeah. And

it's those are 75 rounds a second, something like that with, with water. That's what I

want in my backyard for the squirrels. That sounds fun. Identify target, aim, targeting

solution and then just, and squirrels not eating my peaches. Incredible. Well, thank

you very much for listening. We hope you enjoyed yourself and thank you, Carl, for your wonderful

contributions to the show. We are very excited to have you back sometime soon. Sound good.

Sounds good. Welcome. Thanks for having me. Wonderful. Our website is Spitball.show. Please

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